I’ve pondered and written about words before, but last night’s small group discussion over the first chapter of “Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World” focused on Toxic Words. As we discussed the power of words, we also talked about how words used wisely are healing and encouraging. Oh, how I want my words to be in that group rather than harsh and toxic.
Of course, as we discussed, I shared some of my “word” experiences. I figure I should share here too in case my experiences can help anyone else. First, let’s just agree that 
this proverb we learned as children is 100% wrong. I’ve been told that when bones break they grow back stronger when fully healed. My heart still hurts from words said to me in high school and college. Words have power that last. Use yours wisely.
Words. I remember words uttered to me by parents who were thrilled their child was in my class. I’ve found that most harsh words directed at me as a teacher, at least to me personally, have been delivered via electronic message 
or written letters. I honestly can’t remember someone vocalizing toxic words about my class or teaching to me. Yet, it doesn’t matter whether it’s audible or written, the words remain. Be careful with yours.
During one part of the discussion, we pondered the difference between reckless and evildoers in terms of speech. At this point, I shared how as an older elementary/young teenager, I misspoke because I didn’t think first. My mother had said something to a lady we know about her shower coming up on Saturday. I innocently commented, “When’s the baby due?” Her reply simply was that it was a bridal shower. To this day, I have never uttered that question to another person. I kid you not! I sweet lady who is very physically fit started having a bit of a tummy. I was 95% certain she was expecting. Finally, a friend and I asked her sister-in-law for verification. I mean, we didn’t want to be rude and not congratulate her on her upcoming delivery, but I refused to ask the question out of the remorse I still feel for words spoken without thought.
Another aspect of the discussion encouraged us to speak healing and loving words to 
others. Not to wait until it’s more convenient, but to speak it as soon as we think it. This was especially stressed due to the death of two young people in our community the afternoon prior. Don’t let people you love leave without telling them you love them. Let your students know that whether it’s a good day or a bad day that they are loved and important. Take the time to tell family, friends, and strangers that they are appreciated. I suggested that you can also say it through written words. You see, I still have notes from parents whose child is in high school or middle school which I reread at the beginning & end of each school year. On those hard and trying days, I can reread a letter from a methods students and student teachers who shared how I had impacted their lives and careers. Take the time to say it or write it.
Now, I try to be a person who plans and acts. This morning between breakfast with my parents and a hair trim, I picked up a package of notecards. I have names written on the envelopes and they’re sitting on the shelves next to me. A visual reminder to express my gratitude and affection to friends with whom God has blessed me.
The final takeaway was something that Pastor 
Groeschel challenged one of the men he counselled. He asked him to list 100 reasons he had to keep living (as the man had been struggling with depression). When the man struggled, Pastor Groeschel said to name something he was good at or something positive about him. As I heard this part of the video, I thought to myself. Listing 10 would be a piece of cake. Coming up with 25 would take some thinking. Fifty would certainly require creativity or deep thought. One hundred? Wow! That would be a challenge for me, so I figured I’d give it a go….
So, here’s my challenge to you. Watch your words. Speak healing and encouraging words. Write a note to let someone know that they’re appreciated. Be careful not to be reckless with words that could harm others. Words last. Finally, take the 100 reason challenge. See if you can do it, then read the list whenever the toxic words of others aim to harm you.
My 100 Reasons or Positives about Me
- I can write.
- I’m an engaging oral reader.
- I’m the “world’s best ant”.
- Students enjoy being in my class.
- I’m a decent singer.
- I can cook pretty well.
- My cats think I’m an excellent human.
- I’m pretty punny.
- I’m a good daughter.
- I’m a dependable sister.
- I’m an encouraging friend.
- I make people laugh.
- I like to serve other people.
- I enjoy encouraging others.
- I’m a professional napper.
Wow, this is going to take some time….perhaps I’ll share the other 85 when I finish. Regardless, I encourage you to make your own list. If you have difficulty, ask people who love you to give you some items to add to your list. Sometimes, I think others see us better that we see ourselves.
This fall, my mom had some blood count and sugar count issues that took her to the ER and the ICU a time or two. As I sat down in a parking lot during Old Court Days attempting to sell children’s books, I learned that she was back in the ER. When Saturday’s hours concluded, I headed up to the hospital. When I arrived, Dad went home to take care of their dog and get some items. While he was gone, Mom and I talked about the unknown journey of diabetes and unidentified blood issues. It was obvious that there was a sense of unrest, so I stood next to her bed and prayed. I prayed for her, Dad, and the physicians. And…I prayed for a peace that surpasses understanding.
Wow! That’s not too bad for not putting much thought into it! I may have to finish it into a full parody in December (Umm, that’s Monday. Ha).
during writing instruction. Then, in the midst of Jasper scaring grown men and chasing mailmen, he triggered me to finally act on a dream. So, even though his life sadly ended almost a year ago, his reputation and stories will endure. Though his 4-book memoir series has concluded, his voice will continue to teach and entertain in my picture books. Jasper, thanks for being the only attack cat on guard duty 24-7 I’ve ever met. I cried when I hung your ornaments, but you’ll be proud of my current felines. They’re enjoying the effects of your tree decorating instructions. Your jingle bells are bringing them great joy!
RockyTop started with pretty white fur with orange accents (thus the name), but has transitioned into creamish w
bed, then playing with Rocky in the living room, then….gone by 8. His sudden passing has triggered what I have named Feline-Death-Paranoia. Poor Rocky has been awakened from more naps than he’d care to lose due to my suddenly yelling his name to ensure he’s still breathing. This morning, as I looked for photographs for my blog post, tears fell when I got to ALL of Topper’s photos. They were either of him playing with Rocky or him nuzzling my neck during 
his naps. What a sweet and playful kitten he was. HillTopper may have not been here long, but his impact on my heart was great. He & Rocky proved that felines can choose to cuddle and be lovable. After more than a decade of Jasper’s aloofness, it was a welcome change. For his cuddly disposition, I am thankful
to him as Nameless for several days. I took suggestions from friends. Then, FB friends and a class of third graders voted, and BlackTop became official. [You see, third graders think it makes sense for both cats to have ‘the same last name’.]
than sleeping which says a lot for a cat. The funny thing is….until recently, he’d never put a cat treat in his mouth. As you can see by the picture, anything that I eat seems good for him to try (Don’t worry…I always research whether the items are safe before sharing.) Just like Jasper, he lets me know when it’s time to be fed. Only where Jasper would literally nip my ankles, Rocky meows. Then, the volume increases just like on some alarm clocks. He’s all about his food!
as I’d walk up to the door. A few weeks ago, I saw this pretty boy beckoning me to pet him. He wasn’t quite sure how to get through the glass to me. As soon as I opened the bedroom door, he came running….right through the living room and to the kitchen, where he meowed for a scoop of food. Yep, the boy loves to eat.
voices, so I can write as them. So far, Rocky is the smart one who loves to eat. (Did I mention that?) BlackTop is the not-so-bright little brother with a bushy tail and loud meow. I kid you not…when I first got him I didn’t know if I could get used to how loud his meow was. Thankfully, as he adjusted to life with Rocky and me, his volume decreased. Funny thing is, that his hearing must be extraordinary. Why? If I call Rocky’s name or give an “air smooch” to him, BlackTop will come running from wherever he’s been and do a running jump up onto my chair. Hmmm, I think he may be a little attention-seeking.
I’m thankful for my parents. I took this picture on their 55th anniversary when I met them for dinner. They’re most likely the biggest fans of my writing. Mom’s been known to tell retail cashiers about my books. I know this because my former principal heard her once and let me know about it. I also know they’ve told the manager of the hotel where they stay in Tennessee. Even though I live on my own, I know I can always show up at their house and be welcomed. My mom volunteers in my classroom now that she’s retired. Dad helps with time-consuming tasks during set-up in July. If I forget something I need for the day’s lesson, they’ve been known to run down to my house to get it or stop by Walgreens or WalMart to get it for me. On Saturdays, I generally meet them for breakfast to check in and just visit. As a teacher, I know that not all children are blessed with two parents who love each other, but I was and am. Yes, for my parents, I give thanks.
These cute girls holding my hands are my sisters. I am the youngest of three girls. Dianna, on the right, was the one who played dolls with me when we were growing up. We were HUGE Barbie fans. We could play for hours. She lives in a different town with her husband, Tim. They are active in their church and welcome many others into their family. In the midst of health concerns and the challenges of life, they are vocal in their faith. For that, I am thankful.
but after three girls, Dad didn’t wanted to take a chance on a fourth! Ha! So, about a dozen years ago, I took the plunge to become a “Big” through Big Brothers & Big Sisters. First, I was matched with Courtney, but her family moved after about a year. I waited six months, in case they moved back, then agreed to a rematch. My next “Little” was Lacie. We were matched the summer before her first grade year. Now, she’s a sophomore. She’s lived in several houses and attended a handful of schools, but her smile hasn’t changed. Such joy! She often would ask, especially on her birthday, how long we would be “Big & Little”. I told her I think officially it lasts until graduation, but I’m sure we can grab meals and conversations as long as we want. To which she replies, knowing how much I dislike driving, that she’ll drive me when she gets her license. Ha. Yes, I’m blessed by my Little Sister.
he’d appreciate the distinction. Back in 1998, I learned that my sister, Sherry, was expecting a baby. What would any good teacher-sister do? She’d start collecting books, of course! They may not have turned him into someone who loves reading as much as I do, but I guess they’ve been our connector. When he was little, I’d read to him like I read to my students. He’d look at me with his little boy face and say, “Top it Dody.” Hmm, he wasn’t a fan of my voices….yet. In 3rd grade, he was in the room next to mine, as I didn’t want to be his teacher but wanted to stay “Aunt Jodi”. As his teacher and I did Rock N Read each day, his appreciation grew. Before long, as he’d go home with me after school until his parents got off work, he & I would both pull out various accents and entertain ourselves. Fast forward to the summer of 2018 when I finally acted on a personal dream, books connected us again. How? He offered to illustrate my picture books. Then, when I offered him a percent of the royalties for the picture books, he was thrilled. This fund helps finance footwear….what more could a college guy want? Whether it’s bear hugs, ladder work in my classroom, puns, or texts….he’s one of the best gifts I’ve received. He said it best when he told me last spring, “You know Jodi, we don’t have a normal aunt & nephew relationship. My friends don’t text or get cards from their aunt as much as me.” To that, I say….who wants to be normal when you can be special?
I think that covers it. My students, their parents, my fellow educators, special class teachers, teacher’s aides, administrators, and Monday 
I was reminded that I should accept the words as they were intended. An opinion was expressed. The tone of the words let me know what heart that came from, and knowing that realization by mindset changed.
Hats! I often talk about how I’m “Miss Jodi” at church but “Ms. Pflaumer” at school. Now, I’m also “Jodi Lea Pflaumer” the author. In the end, it’s all me…I am she. At different parts of my day or week there are aspects of her personality that overshadow the other, but it’s all me. I am who I am because of the One who created me, gave me talents and abilities to do various things, and molded me in my mother’s womb. I’m learning to accept the “she” I am. She may not be everything I thought she’d be, but I’ve learned to love her….cause He loved her first and He loves her (me) best.
Honestly, it’s not a medical diagnosis or a mental diagnosis, but it’s my personal realization that having both Jasper and HillTopper pass so quickly has created a huge fear that it could happen again.
Today, as I realized Rocky was napping on my legs and Blackie could not be located, I got up and went on a lap. Fear and dread filled me as I turned the corner in the kitchen where I had found Topper last month. My heart leapt to my throat as I found Blackie laying in the same exact spot perpendicular to how Topper was found. Only Blackie’s taile was twitching this way and that. He looked at me as if saying, “I’m just taking a rest. This looked like a great spot. It’s halfway between my food bowl and litter box.”
how much my paranoia had developed into full-fledged-fear. This saddened me. I mean, I don’t like fear having a hold on me. During tornado warnings, I’m rarely phased. I pray for safety and prep my mattress. Why in the world am I allowing this fear to takeover? Then, it occurred to me. I’m a feline-loving-female. I have no children or spouse. My kittens are the ones who anxiously await my arrival in the evening or react when they hear my alarm go off. They’re the reason I opted to make tuna salad instead of a bowl of cereal for supper because I knew they’d get great joy from “tuna water”.
Jodi Lea Pflaumer, Author 