Memories of Marge

On September 23rd, a sweet lady, good friend, devoted mother, and strong Christian was laid to rest after her sudden passing last Monday, September 18th. Her funeral was many hours and hundreds of miles away, and I was scheduled to make some meals….so I simply prayed for her kids and family throughout my day. As the hours passed, many memories popped into my head, so as a memorial to Marge…I thought I’d put words to my thoughts and share them with you.

Many moons ago, when I was in high school, a young married couple moved to town. The wife, Marge, was expecting their first baby. I remember sitting by her in the stands at the church softball games cheering for our church team. That was the earliest memory I have of this young lady who would grow to become one of my dear friends.

When the baby, Todd, arrived, she & her husband needed a sitter. They asked a different Jodie to babysit, but soon…her social life kept her from being available. Enter…a Jodi who wasn’t dating anyone who became their “go-to-sitter.” That began my relationship with the family.

During my college years, baby #2, Amy, joined to complete their family of 4. While I was in college, they would invite me over to have dinner with them usually once each break. One of my funniest memories shared with Marge was one of those meals. Bill & she would ask me the usual questions about how college was going. After the meal, I would help Marge wash the dishes. As we washed dishes, she suddenly exclaimed, “You don’t like anything I made tonight!” Yep, I was quite the finicky eater at that point, but I was also a respectful guest. So, as I saw her bring each dish to the table (baked fish, green beans, baked potatoes), I chuckled inwardly, but I also ate with a smile on my face answering questions and sharing stories. That meal would often get brought up in subsequent invites. “We’d like to have you over for dinner, and it won’t be fish.”

Upon college graduation, I had to wait four years before getting my own classroom. During the wait, I accepted the call to serve as the director of Baptist Student Ministries on a local campus from the Indiana Southern Baptist Convention. At that point,(early 90s) I didn’t have a computer in my house, so Bill & she would offer me their computer/office to work on ministry needs. Soon, they decided it just made more sense for me to have a key to their house, so I could work on ministry needs even if they were out-of-town.

Once, Todd & Amy were telling Bill & Marge that they should go out for dinner, so I could come over and babysit. That’s when they replied that I could come over even when they were home. I was family.

As family, we began a Christmas Eve tradition. I would go over during the late afternoon. I’d help Marge in the kitchen, then we’d exchange gifts and eat dinner. Christmas Eve dinner became “the Messer meal” in my thoughts. It was poppyseed chicken, cheesy hashbrown potato casserole, and, I think some green beans to have a vegetable on the table. At that point, I would exit to go to my church’s Christmas Eve service, then I’d join them at their church’s Christmas Eve service before going back to their house to help Marge finish Christmas candies or whatever Christmassy chore she needed to finish.

When their family moved (after Todd graduated from high school and before Amy entered high school) to Ohio, I visited them a couple summers. Marge & Amy would make sure our “Christmas Eve meal” was on the menu while I was there.

As happens in today’s world, my friends divorced, but I returned for another visit afterwards. I would stay with Marge & Amy, then Amy & I would go to Bill’s for a visit. It was different. Time had passed. Distance had lessened the bond, but the friendship remained.

After the divorce, Amy & Marge came to town for a visit & to do some dress shopping I believe. I ended up packing an overnight bag to stay with them at their hotel. The three of us had traveled to Corydon that weekend to visit Joannie, an old friend from the 80s/90s, then we went to some music festival down by the river. The two joined me for church the next day. I cracked up when the restaurant of choice for lunch was…Frisch’s! Frisch’s? Yep, Marge was determined to enjoy one of their strawberry pie babies.

Several years passed. A few times “Emily Court” would react or comment on one of my FB posts or I’d receive a message from her, and we’d message back-and-forth like no time had passed. She was that friend. A couple of year’s ago, she was taking a vacation with both Todd’s family & Amy’s family. I was tickled pink when I received a message asking me to join them at The Red Pepperoni for lunch. That was the last time I saw Marge – face-to-face, but our shared faith lets me know that I’ll see her again.

You see, she was a forever friend, and she’d call me on things and forgive me for others. She was a phenomenal mother; I think that was the calling that brought her the most joy. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind how much she loved her kids and subsequent kid-in-laws and grandchildren. Yet, as sincerely as she loved her children, I know she loved her God more. She knew that He was with her each step. Through moves, divorce, death of her father, and each day in between…her faith sustained her.

I never anticipated getting that message from Bill last Monday telling me that Marge had passed away that morning. I was floored. In the past week, anytime I would think of her, our friendship, and her absence from Todd & Amy’s life…the tears flowed…like now. No one saw her death was close. Gone too soon, but never gone from our hearts and memories.

I tell my students that every story has a purpose or a “take-away point,” and it’s easy to share the point of this one. No one is promised tomorrow. If someone means a lot to you, tell them If you have the chance to meet an old friend for a meal, go…you never know when it’s the last chance to do so. I’m glad they messaged me a couple years ago to grab a quick lunch. Go. Tell. And most importantly…shine. Shine His light through your actions, your words, and your inward joy. That’s what I’ll always see in my mind’s eye. Marge with her eye-sparkling joyful smile.

In closing, what will someone type about you when your last breath is breathed? I hope someone says that I shined His light, served others with joy, and…was a unique daughter of the One True God.

What do you want them to say about you? Are you living that life? If not, I challenge you to make the change and live a life that shines.