It’s been a while since my last post. Apologies for those who read it. Life happens and schedules get full. Plus, sometimes…I’m waiting for the right inspiration. Today, I found it.
It’s spring break. Many of my colleagues are heading to Florida or Tennessee or elsewhere for a family vacation. Me? I’ve not taken a vacation since I was a kid. After graduating from college, I would travel to Tennessee a couple times a year to visit friends. However, when you are not a fan of driving and are a fan of sleep, your plans change.
I opt for STAYcations. They allow me to do some needed things and some relished things. First, I attempt to get my house ‘back in order’ and to go through STUFF to get rid of STUFF. I LOVE the feeling of filling a box with items I no longer need and for the second year…clothes I no longer fit. Well, I’ve done that plenty, but starting last year, the clothes are too big rather than too snug. Great feeling!
I also READ. I love to read. Yet, when school is in session, I find myself limiting my chapters to 1 or 2 each night due to my early wake up the next day. I actually have 3 books at home currently, and I hope to at least have two read before returning to school on the 21st.
Then, I also schedule lunches with friends…where I don’t have to swallow my food in less than 30 minutes. Likewise, I find a few recipes that I want to try, which I just did this afternoon and filled my grocery pickup order to pick up sometime next week.
However, it was the first item I shared that has inspired today’s post. Decluttering. Today, I only partially filled 2 boxes. One with decorations and books and the other with a couple of clothing items. I am confident that over the next three days…I will fill at least a few boxes.
That got me thinking. I need to declutter my heart…as in my thoughts and feelings. Let go of things that are weighing me down. Honestly, I want to channel my inner Elsa…and “Let it go, let it go, don’t hold it in anymore.” Get it?
What do I need to get rid of? The negative and critical voice inside my head. The voice that looks in the mirror and only sees the flab that needs to be gone or the loose skin that hangs where the fat once was (Guess what! When you’ve been overweight for decades, your skin doesn’t ‘snap back’ when you lose a chunk of weight…even if you lose it slowly.). The voice that sees my hair when it’s frizzy or untamed rather than when it’s curly and cooperative. I’m sure most of us have one of these negative voices, especially most females who struggle with self-confidence…but I really need to kick it to the curb.
Then, there are the thoughts that tell me I’m not enough. I’m not an effective enough teacher. I’m not a skilled enough writer. I’m not a perceptive enough friend. I’m not a worthy enough female. I’m not enough. See, I know that I am, but that thought lingers.
Goodness! I even bought rings that remind me that “I am enough.” I post quotes often to remind myself and others that someone else doesn’t have to make me worthy by their approval. Yet, I still battle the persistent thought.
I disguise it. I disguise it with laughter. I disguise it with self-deprecating humor. But…it lingers. It needs to be gone.
You see. I’m the daughter of the King. I don’t have to be “good enough,” as He sees me through the sacrifice of the Prince of Peace. My Savior loved me enough to give up His life to purchase mine.
So, please…I pray. God, help me get rid of the clutter that mars the mind and heart of the daughter you created me to be. Remind me that in Your eyes…I am enough. In your eyes, I’m a beautiful daughter. That truth. Is enough.
Jodi Lea Pflaumer, Author 