I haven’t written for a while. Figured I should. I’ve tried a few times, but my focus has been frazzled. I always try to focus on the positive side of life and to find the good. In the end, I’m sure this post will do likewise. However, it may take a bit to get there.
Sometimes, things build up. Like dominoes being set up on a table. One at a time. You think you’re doing pretty well with it, but then…somebody or something jars the table. The dominoes fall. And…tears fall.
That is an analogy of my life or maybe just my mindset. Maybe I’m just looking for the good so much that I have failed to address the not-so-good. I don’t know.
Church life is good. I love my church family. I’m amazed weekly at how God took two church families “looking for something” and brought us together as “one family”. He is good. Plus, God has blessed the elementary ministry team with more volunteers. Now, we only have to miss the pastor’s message and teach the kids about twice in three months. When I think back to the spring when I was teaching 2-3 times a month, I know how much of an answer to prayer that is. In fact, just this past week, someone volunteered to be “a helper”. This is great since the last person who volunteered to teach also volunteered her husband to be her helper…and once was enough for him. LOL. I mean…if you know…you know. So, I told the newest addition to our ministry team that she literally was an answer to prayer.
As I’ve shared in previous posts, I was asked back in June to return to 3rd grade. I always loved teaching third grade (I did so for 24 years) and one of my closest colleagues is on the 3rd grade team. Our team of six has gelled perfectly. Melissa leads us curriculum-wise since she’s been in 3rd grade for the past five years while I was in 4th. I help as I can by being “the old wise one” – LOL. Honestly, in my 30 years of teaching, this team may be one of my favorite combos of personalities. It’ll only last 1 year – as we know in the spring we’ll get downsized to 4 teachers, so I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.
You would think…with those two areas of my life on point…the rest would be fine. However, a lot more goes into teaching then the people who make your teaching team. Even though I thought I was a decent teacher…even so much as a good teacher…I mean…all my teaching evaluations say that as well as conversations with past-admin and parents of students and former students….my classroom doesn’t seem like my classroom this year. The mandates delivered to us and various aspects of my daily/weekly teaching tasks…seem more like I’m a computer programmed than a professional teaching how I think things should go. It’s hard. I teach what I’m told to teach. It has been placing one domino after another. And with each decree, mandate, or hoop that I must jump through…the table is bumped. So randomly…for no other reason the high stress and shot nerves cause the dominoes to falter & the tears fall. THAT is not me.
The truth is — I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve had many chats with other teachers who have taught decades…and we miss being able to teach how we feel is best. In the end, I try to focus on my kids.
They…are my good. Even when they make bad choices. Even when the academic needs seem to be too great for me to address well. Yes, if I’m looking for the good….it’s the 18 students who spend all day with me and the 2 who spend part of the day with me.
It’s the kids who pushes my buttons, the kid who hates school, the kids who think I’m a good writer, the kids whose parent or sibling was in my class, the kids whose grandma went to high school with me, the kid whose parents are my colleagues, the kids who smiles daily, the kids who always has a story, the kids who applaud when it’s time for “Rock N Read”. The kids. They’re the good.
They’re the reason that I will work on dealing with my stress levels to try and calm my shot nerves. They’re the reason that…regardless of another mandate coming down or another independence taken away, I will keep at it. They’re my good. God placed them in my room for this year for a reason.
I’m going through this struggle and trust that in the end…I will see the purpose. I will see how He uses it for my good. I may not see it yet….but I trust that I will. He is faithful…even when the dominoes…or tears…fall.
So, just like Jesus…I’ll look at the Word of God to help me get through. In the writing of this blog, I was reminded of some truths to meditate on during those times of stress and tears. Perhaps you may benefit from them as well….
Today, we buried my father. It was hard. It was emotional. It was a blessing. It was a gift. How can one day that is so sad be all those things?
It was hard because regardless of your age…and the health of a parent…you’re never “ready” to say the final earthly good-bye.
It was emotional because…he’s my dad. He loved me. He made me laugh. He frustrated me. He was proud of me. I love him. I have episodes of tears and emotional breakdowns, but thankfully….those are most often when it’s just me & God….or me, God, and my cats.
It was a blessing because SO many people took time to let Mom and us know how much they respected and/or loved Dad. People from all four of our churches came to both the visitation and funeral. People who worked with me, my sister, my mom, and my dad at some point in time stopped by to give us a hug and offer a kind word. The love of others is certainly a blessing.
It was a gift. That one will be explained by the end of today’s blog post
As an almost 55-year-old, I have been at many funerals. I’m always touched when one of the children of the person share the eulogy. So, when Dad’s life on earth ended on May 28th, at 7:28 AM, I started pondering what should be shared. Immediately a 4-point eulogy came to mind with a Facebook thread weaving it together. I thought I’d simply share my eulogistic essay that I read this morning during Dad’s funeral.
Good morning, I’m Jodi-the youngest of the “Pflaumer Girls.” If you know Jerry, and I’m guessing you do since you made the time to join us today, then you know at least these four things about him.
You know he loved his country, his family, his wife, & his Savior.
If you do social media and are Facebook friends with Jerry, then you have seen post after post of evidence of those four things. You also may have noticed that his posts had decreased in recent months and ended on May 21st. For several of you, that was probably a sign that something was happening. To those of you who have shared thoughts of condolences & encouragement, we thank you for the kind comments you have shared on this avenue of communication that Dad took to like a fish takes to water…a fish with very strong opinions on life, love, and …pretty much everything.…I’ve added some of those comments shared to the thoughts that I’m sharing today.
Let’s start with his love of his country and his patriotism. Dad served in the Indiana Army National Guard and served as Military Police. He was quite proud of that alliance. As you can see from the color scheme, he loved his country. He would proudly proclaim his views on any topic thrown at him. He may not have always done it as tactfully as we would’ve liked, but he was who he was. He was a man of strong opinions and convictions. He shared them. He proclaimed them. He was thankful to be an American.
That’s the reason the song that just played was picked. Back when we lived in Shelbyville, Dad was the song leader of Calvary Baptist where we attended. The church would have song nights, and our family of 5 would always sing. Sometimes, we’d sing “Rock of Ages”, but we would ALWAYS sing “I Am Thankful to Be an American,” and it became dubbed as “The Pflaumer’s Song”.
Next, we’ll move to his love for his family. His sister, Nancy, who was “the chosen one” as he referred to her since his parents adopted her as a baby may live miles away in Maryland, but through phone calls and…Facebook, they were still close. Her career as a nurse also helped when Mom & Dad were trying to make decisions about health issues.
He was a proud and loving father. Dianna wanted to share a story from our childhood. Both Mom and Dad worked, so the three of us would be home after school for a bit until they got off work. One afternoon, in the midst of a tornado watch, Dianna was attempting to supervise two crying sisters. So what do you do when you’re scared? You call your dad. So, she called Dad, and he left work, came to pick us up, and took us back to Danners with him.
As many of you know, back in 2020, Covid started battling Dianna. Dad rallied his Facebook Friends and church family and anyone he communicated with via email….and had them praying.
Sherry was his “athletic daughter” as he would point out. During high school, he’d cheer and help at her track and cross country meets. Ever proud of her determination and shared with many people when her cross country team made it to the state finals that year.
About 30 years later, Sherry was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Our family changed directions in our fundraising efforts. Our prior work for Relay for Life switched to the MS Walk. Dad was the lead fundraiser on our team…Sherry’s Steppers. He hated not being at the walk this year, but he still sent out fundraising letters to some of his donors while giving Sherry the addresses to the others. Just a reminder that he would do what he could to help us even as his health was declining. He might gripe a bit here and there, but we knew he’d be there if he could.
As for me, the ‘baby’ of the family, he LOVED giving me a hard time about being “spoiled” by Mom. Then, when I became a teacher and Mom would go help me set up my room after she retired, Dad made sure I knew that he was able to “help to”. That was the year that he started checking my pens, markers, glue bottles, and sharpening pencils.
However, when his one and only grandson came along, he really hit the zone. Back when Connor was little, both Dad and Connor’s papaw would both “baby sit” Connor while Sherry & Matt worked. Connor shared that during those times of Pap babysitting that he would take Connor off to Mike’s Grill to eat breakfast with the ROMEOs. Retired Old Men Eating Out. Whether it was t-ball or Rebel Varsity baseball, he proudly wore his “Connor’s Pap” shirt and yelled…and took pictures…to post on Facebook.
His annual Connor Tie for Christmas from the Stewarts was always photographed for all to see. Sarah, Connor’s wife, even made the tie he received in 2024. In the words of my friend, Melissa, “Your father was a model for all in loving and caring for his family. “
But…let’s face it. As good of a brother and father and Pap as he was, his world was our mother. That’s how he started checking those markers in my classroom, because he always wanted to be where she was. He’d surprise her with gifts. Most recently buying her a peace lily because A. he knew she loved them, and B. it was a gift of gratitude for her extra nursing skills that she’s been using the first half of this year. He was all about loving mom and making sure everyone knew how blessed and thankful he was for her. He would joke that “she’s the boss” – even telling the paramedic that on Tuesday morning, but he loved her. And…if you’re on Facebook, then you’ve seen pictures of their romance and relationship all through the years. He’d often start a Facebook countdown in the summer proclaiming how many months, weeks, and days until it was their next anniversary.
For the record, they met on March 31, 1964. He gave her a diamond on June 5, 1964. They married on September 20, 1964. They were married 60 ½ years and not many are that blessed anymore it seems.
Of course, one of his favorite pictures of them was when they were in Springfield, IL, back on their 50th Anniversary trip where he FINALLY got down on his knee and proposed….because as they would laugh telling the story that neither of them ever remember Dad proposing. Regardless, I suppose the diamond ring was an implied proposal. As our friend Lora posted, “I loved to see his posts about your mom. He loved her so much!” We have no doubt he will be waiting for her when it’s her time – hopefully in the distant future – to join him. For now, Mom, cling to the words of Isaiah 41:10 that tells us, “Do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you: I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”
But…in the end, the relationship that matters the most was the one that started before he joined the military, got married, had children, and became a pap. That was the relationship he had with the One He called Lord. As Kyleen shared, “Your dad was a wonderful man of faith, with a loving, giving heart. He will be missed in our community. Dad accepted Christ as his Savior in elementary school. It was through his relationship with Mom that she accepted Christ on July 5, 1964 (one year before Dianna was born) and baptized on August 30, 1964 (3 years before Sherry was born). The three of us were raised going to church. Dianna accepted Christ when we lived in Lawrenceburg & she was 7 years old. Sherry did likewise while living in Tipton when she was 6 years old. Then, back when I was in 3rd grade living in Shelbyville, I recall Dad sharing the gospel with me just like churches often do in VBS. He sat beside me and explained that I first needed to Admit that I was a sinner and do things that displease God, then I needed to Believe that Jesus was the Son of God, that He died for those sins, and that He rose again. Finally, he said the next step was to Confess my faith in Jesus as my Savior & Lord.
It wasn’t just his kids though, when we first moved to Madison and attended Calvary, he and Mom worked with the kids and later he would continue to work with kids as they memorized the books of the Bible. As Becky wrote, “Your parents have always held a special place in my heart! I always remember your dad helping me learn Bible verses and studying so hard to get them down pat. He was a wonderful man!” In fact, some may have been concerned about the current church decor, but we found joy in it. Many decades ago, when we all attended Calvary, Dad would work his schedule so that he could drive the church van to pick kids up for Bible school. During his years being a member here at Cornerstone, he would often share the link to the church VBS. He may not have been physically helping to lead it, but he wanted to make sure area kids knew it was happening.
Besides ministering to kids and serving as a deacon, he and Mom started a card ministry at both of the Jefferson County churches they have attended. Sending cards to missionaries, military, college kids, shut-ins…anybody he thought needed a card. One of those recipients was Taleen Jackson – who also was one of the kids who learned the books of the Bible through his ministry at Calvary – shared this, “I don’t even have the words to express how much he impacted my life through his support whether it was from church activities or the dozens of cards supporting our military family.” And then Thomas shared, “Currently in the military, this gentleman consistently sent letters for years. Wish he knew the impact, very grateful and gone too soon.”
So, I can think of no better way than this to end a tribute to our father, Jerry Lee Pflaumer. JC Kimmer, who is serving God in Africa with his family, shared, “ Your father’s love for your mom and family was inspiring. His thoughtfulness towards others will always be remembered. We mourn with you today, but we do so with the unshakable hope for the resurrection when all things will be made new.”
So, our dear friends, Jerry’s family wants to remind you of his lessons. Love your country and be thankful for your freedom. Cherish your family-never take them for granted. Adore your spouse & tell the world how blessed you are. And ….if you don’t know Jesus Christ, as your personal Savior & Lord… Pastor Mike Johnson or Pastor Brynen Chitwood would be honored to take Dad’s place and share the ABCs with you, so that you can know the peace that surpasses understanding through the assurance of salvation. That peace mentioned in John 14:27, “I am leaving you with a gift –peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. Do not be troubled or afraid.”
Thank you for caring about my dad and loving us through this journey. Matthew 5:4 says, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. We thank God for using you to help provide that comfort.
Today was a gift. An exhausting emotional…gift. Because…our faith tells us that our good-bye is temporary. Dad’s pain is gone. Life won’t be the same without his bigger-than-life personality here walking through the days with us, but…we know, through our faith, that we will once gain be together again…
Jodi Lea Pflaumer, Author 