My original plan was to write about the sequel to my years in 3rd grade which began this past week. However, that has to wait for another day. Why? A dear friend passed away late last Saturday night. This week, her family prepared for the visitation, funeral, and burial which happened this afternoon. She’s been heavy in my thoughts around my teaching duties, so I thought I’d share those thoughts with you.
Last night, before I went to sleep, I changed my profile pic on FB to a picture of me and Betty. This morning, I added a caption. It mentioned that today we were celebrating who she was and what she did during her “dash”
Betty lived a long life of 88 years. She was born in 1937 and she passed in 2025. So, 1937-2025. That’s a fact. But…what matters is the dash. Then, as God does things, her grandson, Josh, actually read a poem entitled “The Dash.”
This morning, I told myself that if they opened it up for friends to share that I would. However, all the things I would’ve shared were shared either by her children or the pastor. As I drove away from the funeral, the part of “her dash” I shared rolled through my memories like one of those recaps in a television series going off the air. So, to honor Ms. Betty, here are the “scenes” that rolled through my memories.
The first scene was on July 3, 2022. I was invited to a holiday cook-out, and I met Betty and her son at his house to catch a ride to her daughter’s house. Tammy goes to church with me, so I had inferred that it was a large holiday gathering. As Joe drove out to Tammy’s, Betty apologized for sitting in the front seat to which I said, “No worries, I’m ‘good in the backseat.” Yep. That came out wrong. The three of us had a nice chuckle over that one. Soon, I found out it was a family cook-out, and I was the only non-family person in attendance.
Later that fall, Betty ended up in the ER and then the hospital. That visit prompted her entry into Hickory Creek. Understandably, that decision was hard on the family, and it started my real friendship with Ms. Betty. I started visiting her each Tuesday after school. We’d talk in her room while watching Fox News, and then I’d push her to the dining room. There, I’d sit and visit with Betty and the three other ladies at her table.
On Thanksgiving, I was invited to join their family for their meal. My family’s meal wasn’t until Friday, so it was easy to do. Again, I met Joe at his house, but he had forgotten something that he needed to take to Tammy’s house. We quickly stopped by Betty’s house to grab it before picking Betty up. Due to the extra stop, we were later than she expected. She looked at me and said, “I figured you were the reason he was late.” Well, I wasn’t, but…oh well. LOL
That day, I laughed a lot. I laughed to the point my stomach hurt. Why? We played euchre. Josh and I were partners, and we played against Joe & Betty. Oh. My. Word. The verbal sparring that went back and forth between them each time Josh or I got the play was too funny. I silently vowed to myself that day to always partner with Josh in order to enjoy the entertaining dialogue between mother and son.
Skip ahead to Christmas Break. As a teacher, I had some freedom. So, I made a point of going to Hickory to attend an “Elvis Concert” with Betty. Oh. My. Goodness. This lady LOVED Elvis and his music. It didn’t matter that he was in impersonator, she was whooping and hollering. There was no surprise when “Elvis” came over and gave her his first “scarf”. She proudly displayed it on the bulletin board in her room.
It was during Christmas break that I was introduced to the Tuesday morning Bible study. One of her table mates led the study, so I told the ladies that I would join them during my break. I’d go early enough to encourage Betty to get up if she was still in bed, then we’d go to the study. When Ms. Kathy finished leading the study, we’d use YouTube on the television to sing old hymns. The two favorites were….Amazing Grace and I’ll Fly Away.
Plus, since my family gathered on the evening of Christmas, I joined Tammy & Joe’s family for Christmas Day lunch. I brought small gifts for the whole crew, and I may have been most excited about the hat I found at Gabe’s. At that point, Betty, whose career was being a beautician, often donned a hat.
During spring break of 2023, two things happened to make a Betty memory. The first was that the activity director was on vacation, so I had made plans to go and do a craft with the residents. Often when I was there during craft sessions, she would decide that a craft went to Joe or Tammy, or sometimes it would be for Joey and Jacob.
That week was also the week of St. Patrick’s Day. That meant that it was Ms. Betty’s birthday. It also happened to be the return of Tammy & Cliff from their trip to Hawaii. The birthday meal was scheduled for Tammy’s that evening, so I volunteered to deliver the St. Patrick’s Day/Birthday cupcakes for the residents. Betty convinced me to stay for the craft time where we made crowns. I told her it seemed perfect for her to make a crown for her birthday. Then, off to their family birthday gathering where I took pics of Betty and her family, and Tammy snapped one that included me.
In May of 2023, I stopped by on the last day of school. She wanted to go for a walk on the grounds, so out we went. We decided it was hot and hard to keep our eyes open with the warm breeze, so our time outside didn’t last long.
Later in the fall of 2023, I threw Joe a surprise party for his 60th. Tammy made sure that Betty attended. She had such a good time spending time celebrating with their family and Joe’s friends.
Time passed and my weekly visits with Ms. Betty continued. I shared a few more holidays with her family. My final two were celebrating her birthday in 2024 at Harry’s Stone Grill and then Cliff’s at his & Tammy’s house. However, my friendship with Betty continued with weekly visits through the summer – most were on Tuesdays during their Bible study and lunch time. However, it was a Monday that had me spending part of my birthday with her as she wanted me to come to a special event. I believe the singer’s name was Michael, and we sang along to any of the songs we knew.
My visits ended in the fall of 2024. Not because my family connection had faded, as I’m still friends with all of them. But, the sadness of dementia had taken me from her memory. There were occasions when I’d arrive and she’d speak to me like she knew me, but…we’d get to the dining room and she’d leave…not “knowing” who I was or that I was there to spend time with her. It seemed my visits triggered more confusion than joy, so I told Tammy that I had stopped them…unless Ms. Betty mentioned me. Alas, that didn’t happen.
Regardless of the ten months that had passed since spending time with her 1-1, my heart hurt when I heard of her trip to the ER a few weeks ago. My heart broke for her family two weeks ago when I learned she’d transitioned to Hospice care. Then, last Sunday morning, I received a message from a friend who heard from Joe’s friends that Ms. Betty had passed the night before. I shed tears, but I also rejoiced.
What? Tears and rejoicing? That makes no sense. Ahhh, but it does if you know of Betty’s faith. It does if you know that last Saturday night her dementia had passed and she was made new. Oh, sweet Jesus, our masterful Savior. Thank you for the dash of Betty McCord. May her legacy be the montage of memories and lessons that she left in the hearts of all who crossed her path.
How’s your dash? Is it worth remembering? If not, it’s not too late to ask the One who was with Betty on her journey here and hereafter to guide your steps to bring Him glory as well.
Live well, my friends, and hug your family close & let them know they matter. Whether they’re your family by birth or by faith.
Jodi Lea Pflaumer, Author 